What up, bruh!? :)

This year has definitely had some surprises to it has it not? Although, it has been wonderfully detailed in every imperfect way possible. Struggles, hurdles, lessons, and laughter have been the doom and incline for the entire year. They say that if you cannot laugh at yourself, you'd better learn, or someone else will learn you by doing it for you. I guess that is true. . . In more ways than we would like to believe.

This entire year feels as though it has been one too many learning experiences, one right after the other. Things like child rearing, finances, and home to work ratios have proven to me, that no matter what I face, there will always be another hurdle - standing there waiting, maybe not as soon as I regroup my footing, but usually shortly there after.

My kids and I managed another year without any mass casualties in temper tantrum related functions, thus far.. However, if I learn who taught my daughter to slam a door in my face, there shall be one of my infamous "Come to Jesus Meetings" taking place. Aidan, on the other hand, is just as tough as nails, and by far one of the largest hearted and most caring little fellows, I have had the pleasure of encountering. This leads me into the next big announcement!

**Note** The following verbal spill will also launch with the "Official" opening of the new blog for mother's that will make it's debut on January 2, 2013, and I am trying so hard to be patient enough to let the roll out be a surprise, but, I am extremely ecstatic over this blog launch! Through the past "almost" eight years, I've written down small lessons learned, memories captured, and moments that were simply irreplaceable to me, sort of an out of the mouth of babes, documentary, that has made every moment complete in determining our character and outlook on life. The following is an excerpt from the January 2 release, and I thought, maybe I should go ahead and take the time to share a little, since, after all, my wall has sort of becoming a place to document some of the emotional and spoken craziness that my children have allowed me to experience.

We all know as mothers that there is a FINE line that is drawn as to where the lives of your children end and your own personal lives begin. Sometimes that line is incredibly thin and tinted to match the pavement or gravel road we are walking along, we all understand. The key is to always embrace the raising and to never throw yourselves entirely in so far that you’re lost with no way back, or, that is what the books say anyway.

Side Note: Throw the books out. There isn’t ONE single book on parenting, child rearing, or on maintaining your sanity that will actually allow you to feel like you’re doing your job as a parent, because I promise you, that moment when you realize that all the other mothers actually cook breakfast every morning, and you’re in the gas station, like clock-work mind you – since everyone knows you’re always running late anyway – buying honey buns and powered doughnuts and running back to the car giving the “Eat up! Six minutes until we’re there!” speech… You’ll understand that they have one of two things going for them. A.) They’ve got a husband at home, and that he has never been introduced to Facebook or to the TV remote  …. or B) The other mother’s are obviously using microwave bacon, because seriously, have you tried feeding four people with one pack of bacon cooked on the griddle? It’s not physically possible, no, not even if you cut it… Not if you’re trying to wake up two sleeping babies and dress them for school and feed them and make them do chores and double check homework folders, and
“Hey, SHOES on!” and did you see the car keys?, “hey where’s the milk? Your room!? What?!” “Empty the dryer does not mean put it back in the laundry basket” “SHOES!” “Keys?” “there goes the bussssss again” “I found the keys! Cranking the car! Three minutes until rollout!” “We’re late” … where is my phone! “I SAID SHOES!” Leaving, let’s go! “WHERE are your shoes!” … make it to the end of the ridiculously long driveway, “Did you seriously forget your backpack?”…. it simply cannot be done on a daily basis, because June Cleaver was a fictional character, period… and if you think you can, we can set up a time and place for you to meet my kids. ;)

This entire year has been about relearning myself, throwing myself back into a 9-5 (well, technically 7-5) and hoping that I could balance college and a relationship, all while placing my maternal duties on top of everything else along the way. I am not saying it was easy and I will not say that it was incredibly complicated either. I will however, stand up and applaud any mother who wants to give it all a go ahead as I have done. I mean, knock it out of the park, right Mom?

Pfft. My sanity maybe.

I’ll share with you a few things I learned, grab a seat - or a pillow - whatever looks safer, however, be prepared, some of these even slapped me in the face.

-         IF you set the coffee pot to perk at 4 A.M. and it has an automatic off for two hours later, and you figure out where the snooze button is on the same morning, don’t set the coffee pot for the next morning. Somehow, you won’t put the pot  back in just right, and when you run out THINKING that you’re late, based of the events of the prior morning, YOU WILL slip, YOU WILL fall, and you will wake everyone else in the house up with language that you make up. Just, trust me, it was horrible.
-         Breakfast for 6 kids is possible in 10 minutes. It’s called Fruity Pebbles and Toaster Strudels. Provided that that toaster works. Apparently the word “toaster” does not mean “substitution available for microwave use if your eyelids are too heavy to locate the toaster cord” … Dually noted, but I did love that plate.
-         It does not matter how many boys or how many girls you have to dress for school, there will always be the two following characters –giggles and groggies- I’m a giggle fan, my kids are groggies fans – but only on days when I want to be a groggies fan, and it somehow, becomes miserable in a flash, yet, there is NOTHING that happens in the morning, that ice water to a sleeping head will not cure. Nothing.
-         You can be early.
-         You can be early, but you will always forget something, and it is usually something important, like snack.
-         People without kids, do not understand and will not understand – so don’t bother explaining – how your washing machine is never empty, your sink is usually half full, and your backseat looks like a cross between El Nino and Katrina bred and had 4 dozen storms of fury take place in your backseat. Just give up and offer them a gummy worm.
-         Once you make it to work, you are not in kakhi’s? How is that possible? Oh, the dog, the chocolate and peanut butter hands of kids enjoying waffles (which by the way, CAN totally be cooked in the microwave, in case you wondered) and… did the kid seriously put a footprint in my seat and I was supposed to walk around with little Nike treks on my tush all day? No thank you. Jeans it is. Come to terms with it now, spare yourself the heartache.
-         All day long, you’re going to remember half the stuff on the to-do-list that you left on the table the night before, and you’ll probably accomplish ONE or two of them. Usually one. Again, just come to terms with it.
-         The best thing about online schooling? Your professors can’t see you. Yes you, with your crazy looking hair, overstretched and stained t-shirt with the chocolate and peanut butter handprints on your gym shorts, puh lease, I scare me sometimes .. Don’t act like you’ve never had the “Mommy needs a shower” look going on, whatever. ;)
-          Let's talk employers, shall we? We've all had him. That boss, that "sort of" had kids because he dated a girl who had one or two? The one who, tries to understand, and always end up looking at you like you're absolutely nuts when you seriously mean that you need the last Friday of the month off (which in the sales world, is a no-no, by the way. . . sort of that look like you just mentioned you wanted to inject his veins with a radio active material... I just asked for Friday man, I mean, you want to let me take Monday instead, I didn't think so.
-          Did you know, that if you empty glow sticks into a bathtub of water, you can occupy two sick children long enough to drink an entire cup of coffee without persistent interruptions.


And there you have it. The first two hours of my chaotically beautiful and amazingly  uninteresting life. Welcome to it ladies. The deeper the mind searches for the complications, the more apt you are to find them. ;)
 


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